Different worlds

What does it mean to be two? If I ask my monkey a question, this is the kind of answer I get.
Me-do you need to go pee? You just had a whole lot to drink.
C-No mama, I'm not have to.
Me-are you sure? You've already been through 6 pairs of panties today.
C-I'm sure.
Great. She knows her own mind, right? Of course she does. She also knows that all I'm able to do when she pees her pants is put on a new pair. 5 minutes after the above conversation, she's peed in various places.
What else does it mean to be two?
I sneezed. She brings me a tissues and says 'bless you mama, do you need to blow your nose?'
Oh, and she has quite a little potty mouth. Her favorite thing right now is to complain about the cat by saying 'Friggen Cat', and then laughing maniacally. The cat is a little prick so it's not unfounded but that's not exactly what I want to hear come out of her mouth. Try NOT to laugh when she says it though. Really, she only says it when he swats her or scratches her.
Being two also means that the hugs are the be all and end all of your existence. And the kisses. Always the kisses and always 'kiss my mouth'. If the hug isn't quite big enough, she'll tell us to squeeze her more and if it's too hard, she says 'gentle'.
Two is wonderful and sarcastic. It's moody and pushy and demanding. It's also that much closer to three, which is just around the corner. I like two. I adore the little person behind the two. She is a princess, always wanting to be dressed up. She's been shopping in a tutu more than once. She loves to pretend and all of her princess dolls are friends. Today, she was a garden fairy and she was flitting around the house with her soft (her blanket, her world) draped over her shoulders saying 'look at me mama, I'm a garden fairy and I am flying up the sky'. Then she took her blanket off and said 'I'm not a garden fairy anymore, I'm Caelan now'. She kills me with her cute and I can't get enough of it.

Then there's what it means to be eleven.
Eleven is testing boundaries and pulling away. Today, D went to the mall with her friend. She had a gift card for Hot Topic and I gave her some money too. She bought an Edward Cullen shirt with her gift card. So there's the boy (well, LOL). Then she got herself a cell phone make up thing from Claire's. She *knows* she can't wear make up outside of the house. She called me and asked if she could go to church with the same friend she was at the mall with and I said of course. She comes home in her Edward Cullen shirt wearing blue eye shadow. I reminded her of the rules but at the same time, I had to admire how well she had put the make up on, lol. We watched the Grammy awards tonight. Taylor Swift and the Jonas Brothers are her right now cool. But when Green Day performed, she said "OMG, He's CUTE" and I nearly fell off the couch because I've had a crush on him since they first came out when I was in high school!! It made me realize how fast my baby has grown up and how alike we really are.

And what does it mean to be mama to these two girls?
Even at the end of my rope they can and do make me laugh. On my worst day, I can always count on a laugh and a hug and an 'I love you, mama'. I'm learning how to introduce rules, how to be the enforcer, how to get over my shyness and open myself up so that my girls can be exposed to all of the wonderful things in this world. I'm learning how to help with hurt, remembering when a crisis was SO big that it seemed unfixable and remembering how turbulent life is when you're growing up. I adore being mama. It's not easy. It's not always pretty or calm but there is ALWAYS love lurking in the corners and below the surface and it's always ready to be spoken out loud and often.

Sweet nothings

Caelan goes by 'monkey girl'. I've always DETESTED nicknames. In fact, I pretty much despise them, especially when they are shortened versions of first names. Anyway. When she was born she was hairy. Like, she had fur. So I started calling her monkey and well, it stuck. She decided today that I am now going to be called 'monkey mama' and must answer when she says it. Otherwise, she looks at me with raised eyebrows and says 'monkey mama, I'm talking to you'. Yes, she's ornery.

Choir debut

Deliah had her very first choir performance tonight and they did wonderfully! She sang so well and the choir as a whole was just beautiful. She looked all grown up standing up there on stage, it was just another example of how fast your kids grow up while life happens. I am so very proud of her <3


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Shopping

My mom is visiting because Deliah has a choir performance coming up this week. So mom came up on Sunday to visit before hand. She's in the second round of chemo treatment and amazes me every single day. A 'slow' day for my mom is like a busy day for 99% of the population, and she's kicking cancer's ass.
Today we went shopping. Okay, we went to Cosco so technically, not shopping. But really, Cosco has everything! We took Caelan with us. That girl adores shopping. She loves to pick things out but never, ever asks for anything. She will say 'this is cute' or 'look at that mama', but I have never heard her say 'can I have' or 'I want'. Unbelievable really, but the truth. So they had some super cute Hanna Andersson dresses for $14 each. If you have kids, you've probably seen them and they don't come cheap-a play dress is almost $40 and while they are excellent quality and super cute, I can't justify $40 on a play dress. Anyway, I pointed them out to Caelan because I figured, for that price I'd buy two. She touched every single one, commented on the colors and then picked out the ones she loved. She did the same for the $8 pj sets. She cracks me up because she is so serious, she's like a little adult when it's time to make a decision.
We ended up at Olive Garden for lunch-soup salad and bread sticks anyone? I think our waiter smoked himself some meth before his shift. OMG. Really, he listed, in rapid fire order, every single ingredient in the salad, followed by the soup and the breadsticks. He then took forever to bring us our food. We finally have our salad and my mom has put about half of hers on the plate while I just take a bit at a time out of my salad (he put two on the table since we each ordered one, whatev). So out of nowhere, he speeds to the table, picks up my mom's salad and dumps the rest of it into my salad?!? Takes the bowl and leaves. 2 minutes later, he's back with 2 small bowls that he dumps into the combined salad bowl, one is black olives, the other is dressing. He runs away again(we haven't exchanged any words with him at all). Back again, this time he dumps in croutons and tomatoes. Okay, wtf right? 5 minutes later, he's back with a new salad and takes away the other. The guy was a freakin' case and all we could do was laugh. Really, who does that?

Good days

We are finally getting back to having a happy two. She's been sick for a week now and had decided that sleep is for the weak. We've had some rough nights, but she woke up happy and herself today.
Of course, eleven is feeling sick now so it's not really over yet, but at least she knows why she isn't herself.
We are seeing the sun again after a week of epic rain, wind, thunder and lightening and even a tornado!! It's definitely a mood improver. My laundry has piled up because the washer and dryer are outside, laundry+rain=BIG pile to catch up on!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What is eleventy-two?

That's easy and hard. It's how old my girls are, in kid speak. Eleven and two. Worlds apart but so entwined.
Eleven pretty much sucks. It sucks for the eleven and it really sucks for the mama. But eleven is pretty damn cool too. It's not quite old enough to forego a kiss good night or to say 'I love you' in front of friends. It's perfect for silly, outrageous and uncontrollable giggles. It's also great for uncontrollable mood swings, eye rolling and all around grouchiness. It's not quite grown up but it's not little kid cute anymore either.
Two, well. Two is everything and then some. Two is a whole lot like eleven actually, right down to the grouchy mood swings. But two is also full of wonder and awe. It comes with it's own set of rules though. Logic goes out the window but negotiation is a strong point. Bribery works too. It's an age of unapologetic melt downs and insane amounts of love, kisses and snuggle time.
It's easy to talk about my two year old and I tend to do it, a lot. It's harder to talk about my eleven year old and I don't do it enough. So I'm going to try to talk about them equally and give them each the amount of written space that they deserve. To show them, in another way, just how much I love being a mama to two amazing little girls.
So who's who? Deliah is eleven. She is beautiful and unbelievably smart. She's is super creative, an amazing artist and a fabulous soccer player. She is funny, sensitive, articulate and kind. She is the BEST big sister and she is my favorite oldest daughter. She made me a mama. She taught me how to be a mama, how to love with more than I ever knew I could. She's taught me patience, as well as the limits of patience. She's brought smiles and joys to my world that I never knew I was missing until I had them. My Deliah-the sun rises and sets with you.
Caelan is two. She is so much like her big sister. She's also so totally different. She is such a girly girl. She's a princess and a diva, a sweet heart and a stand up comedian. She can throw a mean fit but she doesn't like to, she is happy much more often than not. She's my favorite youngest daughter. She's taught me to stop and listen a little more often, she's tried the patience that her sister has taught me and tested limits in ways I didn't know they could be tested. She is the baby but don't tell her that, she's BIG! My Caelan-you were the missing piece to our family puzzle.